JustAnotherDay

I say I’m never gonna love or miss you, but thats not true. I love you more than you’ll ever know and I miss you so much it hurts to breathe.

I know I shouldn’t… I should just stop caring, but I can’t.. I miss you. And pretending like I don’t is the hardest thing I’ve ever done

I just can’t let this go.. But it’s time to put on my fake smile and pretend like I can. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Even if I don’t act like it to cover up my pain.

Why does this always happen to me? I don’t want to be that annoying girl who complains about everything but this seriously sucks

Parents don’t trust me. Stupid reasons too. They’re just asking for me to move out. 6 months 22 days till I legally can. #cantwait

I’m scared… Last time I opened my heart to someone they completely shattered me. It was a “I care about you, but I love her an you’re not her” situation. After that I compared myself to her. Put myself down. Crawled into a hole that took months for me to come out of. I’d rather be numb to any feeling because if I wasn’t I was hurting. It took me a long time to open up to someone again, but I did. At first it was great. We had that heat and passion a new relationship brings. But it was also more than just the physical stuff. And then you told me some things. An it didn’t bother me. I accepted you for who you are, including your past mistakes. Then you told me some more things. Things that scare me. An now that I know you still care about her, even though she hurt you so much, I’m scared. Scared it’ll happen again. I can’t go through that again. It hurt too much. And I know if it happens again I’ll go to that same dark hole, and it’ll take me longer to come out. I know you’ll make the right decision for you. My pain is worth your happiness. And if you decide her over me, please stop pretending like you care. Leave me to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart, of my life.

First time I’ve cried myself to sleep in awhile. Life sucks.